Tuesday, November 4, 2008

ok for those who dunno...(which would be a big group of ur)...tot of applying for product design at NTU or NIE to become a teacher...i know..some of u ar like goin..."huh..sure anot...u teacher.." yes yes i know...i have been pondering over the month of october about wad God has planned for my life..wad does he wan me to be...wad does he wan to use me for..i talked to several ppl about it...well maybe not several...just 2...mainly Karen and Gillian...one is a teacher while the other is studying to become a teacher...(so u know why i ask those 2)...i asked them why they chose teaching..was it a calling..??How did they know God call them to become teachers...i always thought to hear God u gotta sit in on corner..have total silence...and just listen...tats wad i did..i tried to listen wad God had to say about wad he wans to do with my life..of course..i dun get anything...but wad Karen shared with me really opened my eyes about God's plan not only for me but for everyone..

its not necessary that u must sit in one corner and meditate to get the answer...it could simply come down to "how we ar wired"...how God has created us...our character...our personality...wad we ar really passionate about...well..in short to just follow our hearts...

yes yes...i studied engineering in poly largely due to aerospace..i was interested in everything tat flies basically...but wad i came to realize was tat wad i am interested in may not be wad i am passionate about..i just did not see myself being an engineer...(despite many ppl saying i got the engineer look)..but why teaching...??then i looked at my strengths and weaknesses...i am a good listener...i am slow to talk and always speak at the right moment..i am a thinker..but my social skills a little poor lar...meaning i dun talk much...if u were to put all the strengths and weaknesses together...i think it describes someone who is just there to hear things out...give advice when necessary..someone who is just there to help...and wad way than through teaching...i am an "actionman" meaning someone who rather demonstrate it than do it just to get his point across...all the strengths and weaknesses tat i just mentioned ar not frm me...its wad i have heard frm my frens..their comments and advice..bottom line is i have a strong feeling about it...

well..the other way would be product design...i am a thinker...when asked to come up with a product others would have come up with one and toking bout how it would work and everything when i would be thinking another 3 steps ahead..when they ask me for my advice i would normally keep quiet..cause i dun wanna spoil everything by saying it wun work...and i think i got wad it takes...its one thing to be able to draw ur ideas out but its another thing to come up with those ideas in the first place...and tats wad i think i have...just tat i dun have the background drawing skills tat design students may have...but tat can be strengthened cause the first year is all foundation..they teach u frm scratch..so it suits me...

so now i have teaching and product design...both ar probable second chances...my mind is telling me to do product design...my heart is telling me to go with teaching...tats one of my problems now...the other problem is...wad if i dun get both...wad if i failed to get either one of my choices...i have been asked tat question by a few ppl...and my answer is always blank...i cannot reply them...i dun have a contingency plan...

we all probably heard of this phrase all the time..."to have faith and trust in him...and he will lay the path for u..." i really wanna believe tat...not tat i totally dun...i believe tat wad i am goin through now its all part of his plan...but placing my future in his hands...tats another step..another leap of faith tat i have to take....i used to think my faith in him wads strong...but now..i dunno where i am anymore...