i was glad i went to church todae..after a sleepless nite..tons of tots running through my head..i finally got some answers..why do i feel hurt..why does my heart ache by the true i found out yesterdae..cause i feel accountable..i feel it is my responsibility to bring to back to the light..
i have told u countless times..to stop wad u were doin and return back..i believe u have a choice..everyone has a choice..but why do u wanna sink deeper and deeper tat i do not understand..everyone is shouting for u to come back...to return to e light..but u just brush it off and go back to the darkness..
wad i have found out todae..is tat i can can tell u time and time again wad u have done wrong..but whether u wanna listen is ur own business..and in future if u ever regret..u only have urself to blame and no one else...by then it wld be too late to turn back..by then u wld have sacrificed everything..even urself...
so i say to u...stop plz stop..before it is too late...
Posted by shinkaro at 5:28 PM
what have u become..
perhaps it is fate...perhaps it was meant to be...i know i shd not have..but i did it anyway...cause i was curious...of who u were..who u really were.. i had a picture of u in my mind..a picture of who u are..to me...u are like an angel..ur smile..the way u are when u ar happy...to me u are perfect...but now i know...cause i have seen...i cannot believe wad i saw...the angel i knew..it could not be...i checked and double checked but it was real..the image of who u ar..shattered immediately in my heart..wad has happened to the angel i knew...where is the love for urself.. its like all this long..whom i know is like a stranger to me now..how can this be.. tots of all kinda ponder into my head..tears almost streaming down my eyes whenever i recall wad i saw..my heart aching... i ask the Lord to forgive wad i have done...heal my aching heart..and bring back the angel i once knew..
Posted by shinkaro at 1:08 AM
Friday, May 16, 2008
sunny island..
blogging frm the sunny island of tekong..just some updates...this week has been an ok week for me..with some lazy days as well as happening days...and in a blink of an eye..the week is almost over..well..maybe over for some of my frens but definitely not for me..cause tml i got guard duty...funny why i always kena on those book out days..sianz..well..guess i already used to it.. some things coming out for me..other than gonna ORD in another 2.5 mths time..church camp is coming up..manage to get leave on the 6th to attend the camp..have always skipped camp cause of my work commitments...found out tat i gonna be a grp leader..first time tat i gonna take on a leadership position church wise...kinda nervous about it..cause even though i have taken recruits in the army...the ppl i gonna take in church are not recruits who are blur like sotong...so have to treat them differently..how differently..well..just have to take them to have a feel of it..but i am kinda confident tat i will do a good job so good luck to me ya.. although i haven been confined or anything liddat..realli miss the freedom of home..of just sitting around and watching dvds...laying on my bed and enjoying the luxury of surfing the net wirelessly..all the small small items lar..think the army has taught me tat..so even if i haven learnt nuts during my time of service..at least i can get this small lesson outta it... well..think i better go first..my lovely breakfast is waiting for me on the table..haha..tc guys..
Posted by shinkaro at 8:11 AM
Thursday, May 8, 2008
another perfect performance
Posted by shinkaro at 2:41 PM
anxiety is killing me...
just reach home from a medical checkup in ntu..was much faster than i thought it wld be..thought i wld be there for like 3 hrs but it was over in less than an hr..but it took me hrs just to find the place..luckily i asked around for directions yesterdae if not today sure cannot find..but all the walking was worth it..cause i saw a gal which was kinda cute..looked like a student in ntu just helping out with the medical checkup..hmm...anyway... tml is the day of reckoning for me...the day where others will mark on their calender..the day where i will be...the Duty Orderly Sergeant...haha...may not sound much to u..but to me its a scary thing...first..i have nvr done it before...dun realli noe the roles and responsibility...have to check whether everyone has eaten their meals which can be quite a headache..have to conduct guard mounting in the evening which the procedures and commands i dun realli know..and have to wake up at 4 plus the next morning just to prepare for the morning crowd for breakfast..yeah..tats wad i do and do not know in the a nutshell...tonite confirm cannot slp one..for sure... well...tats all i have for now..please pray tat everything will go smoothly tml for me...thanks
Posted by shinkaro at 2:25 PM
Thursday, May 1, 2008
invisible man..
what i am...
Posted by shinkaro at 1:08 PM
holiday..
finally a holiday...not tat i realli needa a break..but its good to have one...wad i realli need is a holiday..but dun think i will have the chance to do so till the end of the year at least.. well..my current batch of recruits i must say are the most challenging bunch i have ever taken so far..just because they come frm all walks of life..ppl who ar big..small...tall..thin...gangsters..loners..u name it i got it... alreadi got some who are breaking down or about to break down...and the gangsters..dun even get me started on them..not tat they are giving me probs..but they are giving my other colleagues probs..think its gotta do with how i tok to them..all this while..i hardly shouted at recruits..nvr realli punish them also...cause i dun see a need to..if u get tok to them...get them to understand..and then they execute it..wun it be better this way..saves trouble on both parties..my colleagues dun see it this way..they prefer the hard approach..which tend not to go too well with the gangster grp... its finally May...3 more mths till i ORD..this mth alone is gonna be a challenge..gonna do duties i haven done before..quite anxious about tat..moreover got my recruits which i have to get in place..many many things to do..well..at least this way time flies faster... realli wanted to watch iron man either yesterday or today buy boy were they packed...its like in the morning when i checked for the evening shows..the cinemas were alreadi 3/4 full...well..maybe another time..since its a popular movie should last in the cinema for quite some time... well..gtg..gonna meet up with adelene and gang for maybe another movie and pool...then its back to camp and work..
P.S. its always hard to look back and wish tat u could reverse time..to reverse wadever tat has been done..truth is life would unlikely or nvr be like the past again...wad we can do is just pray and hope for better things to come..and thru faith we believe it will come..