Monday, October 22, 2007
saddening..
still at home wating for it to be round close to 11 before i leave home for work..dun have to book in yesterdae since my recruits have a visit at sdc this morning and i dun have to bring them..but time flies so fast and the xtra time i have seems as though it wasnt there at all..
since i had so much time yesterdae..my dad decided to bring my bro and me to visit my grandma who is in a nursing home somewhere in braddell...remember seeing her just a few months ago in hospital..now she is in a home suffering from demansia..(dunno how to spell)..on the way there..was thinking whether she wld remember me..she dot on me alot..giving me the best outta all the little she had..my dad told me she had forgotten alot of things..things can happen todae and she wld forget them tml..but she wld remember things tat happen long ago..so being the oldest amongst her grandsons..i was hoping she wld remember me..
upon reaching there..i gave the building a stare..it was kinda run down..the rooms were cramp and there was practically no wind at all..the mood there was realli very saddening..enough to immediately change one's good mood..then i saw my grandma..she was slping..i took a good look at her and could tell immediately she had lost weight...her face was smaller than usual..then she woke up and saw me and my bro..she immediately smiled at us..her smile was like light shining through a pitch dark room..i still remember the smile on her face up till now..then she turned to look at me..at tat moment through the look frm her eyes..i knew she had a small rememberence of who i was...throughout the whole time we were there..she did not say a word...but she looked at me alot...seems she wanna say something to me but just could not..remembered in the past where she would have a lot of words for me..telling me to study hard..that my parents sacrifice alot for me..although i did not realli know how to reply here in cantonese..i would understand and reply accordingly..holding up my tears each time she gave me words of wisdom..now she just lay silent on her bed..
we stayed for just a little while,,not wanting to disturb her rest...upon leaving i look at the building once again..not knowing when i will see her again..on the way home i thought to myself...will i be like her in the next 50 years...where will i be then..will i be able to remember all the friendship i have forged past and persent...sometimes on the way to work..i wld just think to myself...whether i wld rest the place peacefully and in one piece...or wld i be knocked over by a car while crossing the road...i just cannot help but think of all these things..after wad happened to andrew of wad happened to my fren's frens..whether one day it will realli happen to me..if it realli happens wad wld ppl's reaction be..
i remember in the past i asked andrew one question..if i were to die..wld ppl remember me..wld i be missed...he scolded me in a joking manner..told me i wld be missed dearly and wld be remembered..now something has happened to him..i still remember his character and personality..the countless times he has come up to me and talked to me...cracking jokes and making me laugh..tats the thing i miss most about him..just miss the way he is..
get well soon andrew..we're all waiting for tat day when u r yourself again..
Posted by shinkaro at 9:24 AM